Grumpin' around at H & M

Now, far be it from me to say anything at all about fashion and the fashion biz. As much as I love fabric and sewing, I ain't no fashion plate. I can't even, nor do I ever want to be able to know how to, walk in high heels. I know, horrors!

But some time ago I posted about what I thought would be the happy marriage of Marimekko and H&M. And this spring — yes, I delayed posting about this, THAT'S how crotchety I got over it — P. and I were out at a restaurant when he said, "Did you notice the Marimekko stuff is at H&M?" Why no, I hadn't. So after dinner we stopped by the Soho store below Spring street, and after looking around and around again for the good stuff (it must be here somewhere...it must be...) I grabbed a hat, a couple shirts, and a bathing suit and went to try them on in the dressing room.



P. took this very accurate photograph of my state of mind: GA-RUMPY! Why? Well, not only did they not choose such great patterns. Which is really hard to believe since there are so many amazing Marimekko patterns to choose from — you really have to be seriously eyeball, brain, and sense challenged to pick crappy ones. But they made the clothing in yucky, cheapo-seeming fabric, and then jacked the prices on them. So you're not even getting what you came into H&M in the first place for: a good deal!

I could also write a long screed about the what-the-heck-is-H&M-thinking? bathing suit situation, but I think I'll hold back and just say bold prints on badly designed H&M bathing suits no looky good and fit even worse.

Of course, after my delirious post last year, my sister Erica, who is a virtual weathervane of all things fashion said, "They're not going to choose the good stuff, you know." And like the true fabric addict I am, I just thought, Now why is she all pessimistic? It's going to be FABULOUS! FABULOUS! So FABULOUS! etc.

I know: This is a very sad story, and I deeply apologize if it's inspired any tears or ruined anyone's afternoon. Remember, there's plenty of Marimekko stuff to pillage on ebay and other places, or if you want to throw down serious bank, you can always go fly off to Finland or drag your butt up to the upper East side and make your eyes pop out of your head over the cost of some dinky little change purse or whatnot. As for me, I — well, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I think I'll be OK. I think so.

COOOOKIE

As if taking on the Chimp face to face at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Assoc. dinner wasn't enough, Stephen Colbert (MY HERO!) was also brave enough recently to go nose-to-nose with none other than....well, check it out for yourself. Wow. It's hard for me to talk about Mr. Colbert without SWWWWOOOOON. Oh, excuse me. I feel sort of lightheaded. Whoa. OK, bye. Have a nice day. And thanks Erica, for sending me this!

Curiouser and curiouser

Here is the immensely adorable one-and-a-half-year-old Sofia.

Who I hung out with recently, in an apartment that boasted a view like this:

Not to mention Patti. Patti! And her marito italiano molto eccellente Umberto. (Not sure if that's correct, I did only take something like seven hundred and seventy seven years of Italian and still only know how to say "I'm hungry!" [Ho fame, sucka!] and something that's apparently not even really "Shut up!" [Stai zito, biotch!]) 

Sofia was totally into my tote bag and the Metrocard wallet, nail file, and box of tea-tree oil toothpicks she found in there. Was she interested in the beauteous Australian Aboriginal fabric I'd just purchased? Uh, no. What about the book about the whole world going to hell in a hand basket? Not really.

Soon after this picture was taken la bambina ate several tiny fistfuls of ravioli and then fell asleep in the arms of Mr. Molto Eccellente, after a diverting stroll up and down the hallway with her proud mommy Patti. Così perfetto!

Surprisingly macho fabric

The other day I came across some seriously crazy fabric at this oft-visited site, and bought it so fast my keyboard started smoking. (I'm serious! I ran over to the sink and dumped a pitcher of iced tea on it! And then the keyboard said, really gruffly, "Don't do that again!" and I was confused about whether it meant buy fabric so fast or dump iced tea on it. Of course, I'd been up several days without sleep and...ba ha ha ha, I wish shopping online resulted in such shenanigans.)

Here's the description of the fabric, with the picture beneath it:

100% Cotton
56" width/36" repeat
Designed by SALDO SWEDEN

Inspired by the famous chase scene in Bullit with Steve McQueen, this design diagrams shots from the movie using symbols. Red is Steve McQueen, stars are gunshots, arrows mean movement. Triangles are explosions, hearts mean love, crosses mean bodies, and so on. Great conversation starter. Light blue, white, and red. Order sample photo doesn't show details. We have 1 yard available.



Great conversation starter indeed! Whaaat? I mean, how often does one watch a movie and think, "Ah yes, I've thought of a new project. I'll make some fabric out of that movie I just saw!"? Here's the stuff up close:



Look at all those little Steve McQueens and explosions and movement. Here's a slightly better shot, maybe:



What am I going to do with it, you wonder? Well, you see...I have no idea.

Mark and Emily's wedding prez

I mentioned a wedding I went to recently down in hot, hot Texas a couple posts ago...well, the bride and groom are back in the city and P. and I had dinner with them just this very past weekend. These guys are one of my favorite couples to have brazenly silly and cocktail-ridden dinner parties with, and as I've never considered myself to be such a huge embracer of the coupley-er sides of coupledom (like indulging in unabashedly coupley dinner parties, for instance), that's quite an admission on my part! Well, tut tut for me.

They're super creative people; Mark designed the excellent poster for my play Six Available Men...

...and Emily penned an ingenious children's book about a lost elephant, among many other special things. When you're in their apartment, it's tempting to just walk around slowly looking at all the juicy images and fascinating book spines and beautiful pillows. So I knew as part of their wedding gift, I had to make them a drawing.

It's the one I hinted about in this post. (Click on the image if you'd like to see it larger.) I had a guest artist help me with the graffiti, but he shall remain nameless due to Sir Bloomby Bloomberg's recent zealous attempts to send anyone even thinking about graffiti to the jailhouse. Not today, Bloomby!

But more importantly: Congratulations, E & M! Your wedding was spectacular, and so are you.

Shameless copycat

I am a major copycat and I'm not afraid to admit it. As a result, I will write the rest of this post in meows, since that is my true native language. Or not. O.K., not!

One of my habitual check-ins on the web is with the talented and beautiful author of The Secret Language of Sleep, at her long held online diary, evany's extended cake mix. Beware: This woman is super funny and stylin', and you might end up trolling ebay in search of, for instance, an awesome plate, when you had every intention of spending that part of the afternoon writing a brilliant and persuasive letter to Mayor Bloomberg urging him not to rescind the new 6-day schedule for New York public libraries, instead. A very similar thing happened to me recently. (I bought one for myself, too!) But when you take a look at this thing, can you really blame me? This bird is crazy hypnotizing.



I really don't know what I'd do if I were, say, served dinner on this plate, and then discovered the bird slowly as I finished my spinach and mashed potatoes. I'd probably totally flip out, man!